Whether you married the love of your life 20 years ago or are still in your honeymoon phase, you’ve likely already learned that life as a married couple is not always easy. You may be very similar to your spouse in personality (so similar that you drive each other crazy at times) or vastly different, giving credit to the old saying that opposites attract. Either way, as you face life’s challenges together, you have undoubtedly learned a lot about each other, both good and somtimes not so good.

There are many things that married couples can do to preserve or strengthen their relationship, and combat the types of issues that can lead to divorce.  This post touches on just a few of those issues.

Blaming your spouse usually doesn’t get you anywhere

If you and your spouse are constantly bickering, it can be frustrating and cause you to each blame the other for whatever the problem is happening at the moment. As you might imagine chronically blaming, comparing and criticizing your spouse is typically not good for a marriage, and the following list explains why and offers other recommendations for avoiding divorce as well:

  • If blame is the name of the game, problems rarely get solved. In fact, you may find yourself growing more and more defensive and resentful if your spouse is always pointing a finger at you as the reason for your marital problems.  Be careful that you are not doing the same thing to your spouse.
  • In addition to blaming each other, if you fall into the trap of constantly comparing notes to determine if both spouses are pulling their equal weight in the marriage, you may very well be headed for disaster, according to many recent studies.
  • You’re probably not going to respond so well if your spouse is always criticizing you either. Marriage advocates say to avoid criticizing and contempt like the plague if you hope to avoid divorce.

Putting problems off until tomorrow is not usually the best means for overcoming them. It’s often best to meet your trouble head on, provided you and your spouse are able to calmly discuss the issues at hand, cooperate and compromise, as necessary.  This is usually the best way to reach mutually agreeable solutions with you spouse.

Perhaps you have already taken the best marriage advice you could find to heart, but are finding that nothing is resolving your problems. Unfortuantley like many Colorado residents you may determine that your marital problems are unable to be resolved short of  divorce. Divorce is rarely easy, but to make it easier on you and your spouse, it’s important to know where to turn for help.

Support networks available

Some people turn to their close friends and family for support as they navigate the divorce problems. Others seek guidance from ministers or licensed counselors.

Legal representation in divorce proceedings

If you have children and your spouse is refusing to agree to a proposed parenting plan, or your are not in agreement about how to divide major marital assets such as the family home, etc., being represented by an experienced family law attorney is often the best way to successfully negotiate a satisfactory outcome.  Family law attorneys understand the issues and best practices and solutions for resolving them.  An experinced divorce or family law attorney can advise you on probable outcomes and potential risks of going to court and allowing a judge to make the decision if you cannot reach a settlement agreement with your spouse.  If a contetsted court hearing is necessary, a good attorney who is experienced in the courtroom and familiar the rules of evidence will help you do what is necessary to make the best possible presentation to the judge to achieve your desired outcome.

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