Teenagers are not always easy to reason with—especially during a difficult divorce or custody situation. As kids get older, their opinions become stronger and their lives more independent. So what happens when your teenager simply refuses to go to court-ordered parenting time with the other parent?
In Colorado, these situations are becoming more common, and courts are increasingly weighing teen autonomy against parental rights and legal obligations. Here’s what you need to know.
Teen Preferences vs. Court Orders
While Colorado courts consider a child’s preferences in custody matters—especially for older teens—a court order is still legally binding. Parenting time orders apply to both parents and children. This means that as a parent, you are still legally obligated to comply with the court order, even if your teen resists.
That said, the court may consider your child’s age, maturity, and reasons for refusal when determining whether enforcement or modifications are appropriate.
In some cases, teens may be acting out due to emotional stress, changes in school, peer pressure, or mental health struggles. Courts often prefer for both parents to work collaboratively to address the underlying cause, rather than escalate the legal conflict.
When Is a Teen Old Enough to Decide?
Colorado law doesn’t set a specific age at which a child can refuse visitation. However, judges often begin to take teen preferences more seriously around the ages of 14 to 16, especially if the teen expresses a consistent and well-reasoned opinion.
Still, until the order is officially changed, you must encourage your child to attend scheduled visits and show the court that you’re making a good-faith effort to comply.
A court may allow a mature teen’s input to be considered during a modification hearing, but it’s important to understand that the final decision always lies with the judge—not the child.
What Parents Can’t Do
- Ignore the visitation order. You cannot unilaterally decide to stop enforcing visitation, even if your teen is adamant.
- Use refusal as justification to deny visitation. Courts can view this as parental alienation, which may hurt your own custody position.
- Punish the other parent. If you disagree with their parenting style or think they’re the reason for the refusal, take it to court rather than retaliating.
- Force physical compliance. Physically compelling a teen to attend visitation can backfire legally and emotionally. Courts expect parents to encourage visitation but not traumatize children in the process.
What Parents Can Do
- Document everything. Keep records of your teen’s refusals, conversations, and efforts you’ve made to facilitate visitation.
- Communicate calmly. Encourage your teen to express their concerns respectfully and openly, and let the other parent know about the situation.
- Seek legal advice. Talk to a family law attorney about options like court-ordered counseling, parenting coordination, or modifying the existing order.
- Request a modification. If your teen’s refusal is based on legitimate concerns (abuse, neglect, or emotional harm), the court may consider adjusting the order.
- Engage a mental health professional. Family therapy or individual counseling can help uncover emotional reasons behind the refusal and provide strategies to rebuild the parent-child relationship.
When to Go Back to Court
If the parenting plan no longer reflects what is in the child’s best interest, it may be time to file for a modification. A judge will consider:
- The teen’s maturity level and reasoning
- Whether the refusal is the result of parental alienation or undue influence
- The emotional, physical, and educational needs of the child
- Any allegations of abuse or unsafe conditions
Parents may also request that the teen speak with the judge in chambers or with a Child and Family Investigator (CFI) to give their perspective in a safe, neutral space. These evaluations can provide the court with insights that are less biased than parent testimony alone.
Helping Teens Navigate Visitation: Practical Steps for Parents
Teen years are a time of growing independence, emotional volatility, and identity development. While this can complicate co-parenting, it also opens opportunities for deeper understanding and stronger parent-child relationships—if handled correctly.
Here are a few practical ways to support your teen while respecting the legal framework:
- Acknowledge their feelings. Even if you disagree, let your teen know their emotions are valid and worth discussing.
- Keep lines of communication open. If your teen is more comfortable expressing themselves via text or journaling, encourage that form of communication.
- Avoid blame. Don’t badmouth the other parent or blame your child for the situation. Stay neutral and supportive.
- Set consistent expectations. Make it clear that while they have a voice, they also have legal obligations, and you’re there to help navigate them.
- Model cooperation. Teens watch how parents handle conflict. Keeping things civil helps reduce emotional stress.
Bridging the Gap Between Legal Compliance and Emotional Needs
Parenting teens during or after a divorce is challenging, especially when court orders collide with teen independence. While the court prioritizes structure and consistency, it also recognizes that a 16-year-old’s reality looks very different from a 6-year-old’s.
Balancing respect for your teen’s emotional development with your legal responsibilities requires patience, empathy, and often, professional support. Courts are more responsive than ever to teen voices—but they expect parents to act reasonably and responsibly in these complex situations.
If you’re struggling with teen visitation refusals in Colorado, Boal Law is here to help you explore your legal options and protect your family’s well-being. You can contact Boal Law anytime to schedule a consultation with an experienced Colorado family law attorney.